Saturday, April 19, 2008

Spare some for spare parts

Daily Happies
1. Last night I went out with Kris again. I like him more and more each time we hang out. We had a talk last night about what to do about us. We decided that the boy/girlfriend thing wouldn't work. We are both just caught up on the whole "Abie is leaving in a few months" thing. So, I think we decided to just have fun and not try and label it. I feel better with that decision anyway. I don't need lots of complication in my life. But, I really do like him a lot.
2. Went thrift store shopping today and got a super cute dress AND a super cute nightgown that I may wear as a dress. If I do, I will try and put photos up. It's so adorable and vintage-y! Very 60's.
3. I took a 4 hour nap today. Yes, this is a cause for joy. I rarely allow myself naps!
4. I slept until past 10am today. And woke up and snuggled. God, I forgot how amazing cuddling is. Seriously, it's the best part of life.
5. I ate some Taro Ice Cream for dessert. Yum!!!
6. Last night, I went to a Comedy Burlesque show at Shakespeare's Tavern. It was hilarious, AND I got to see them set some guy's nipple on fire!

Thursday, March 06, 2008

2008 and Beyond

I never posted these before online, but they have been posted in my room. But now, as I am moving, I have to decide what to bring and leave. So, rather than taking the full posterboard, here are my lists:

2008
1. Move out of San Diego
2. Take a long walk at least 1x per month
3. Wear heels 1x per month
4. Lose 20 lbs
5. Get another tattoo
6. Drink at least 8 glasses of H20 per day
7. Read at least 1 book per month
8. Take a photography course
9. Take Japanese lessons
10. Learn to skateboard

Beyond
1. Ride in a hot air balloon
2. Visit the Aurora Borealis
3. See Maachu Picchu
4. Become fluent in Japanese
5. Marry someone amazing and worth it
6. Ride the fastest roller coaster in the world
7. See Sigur Ros in concert
8. Wear a bikini
9. Go to carnaval in Rio de Janeiro
10. Get my Masters degree

Monday, February 25, 2008

When it all comes true

"Cancer: A few annoying events will have you feeling grouchy, but luckily, the day will end really well. ."

I am really freaked out when horoscopes are right on the money. today started out to be an awful day!

I was running late, left the house, locked the door, then realized that I forgot to put deodorant on. So, I open it back up, go to the bathroom with all of my things, and proceed to put on deodorant. I was in a hurry, but I told myself, "Abie, if you go too fast, you are going to get deodorant all over you black shirt." And so I slowed down to keep that fro happening. Then, as I was taking the deodorant stick out from my shirt, I accidentally knocked over my coffee ALL OVER MY STUFF in the bathroom. I ruined 2 sets of eyeshadow, got coffee all over my flat iron and hairbrush and toothbrush, and then only had half a cup to drink! Grr!

But, then, as the day wore on, it got better, I got out of my grump...and now, it is GORGEOUS outside. I am going to head to the beach today, just to sit and lounge before the evening. Be jealous.

See you guys in Georgia in 2 weeks!
See you in London in a few months!

Love love love!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

You can try the best you can


Handsome
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
having pets is like having children. To me, Ocha is almost a son. He has been with me through so many hard times. He has always loved me and been there for me. There are few out there who can claim that.

Today, I got bad news about Ocha. He has another abscess.

I feel so bad for him. I just want him to get better. I cried when the vet told me. She is awesome and doesn't charge me what she really should for the surgeries... but what do we do if surgery doesn't work?

I hope Ocha is ok. He is so important to me. Everyone, please keep Ocha in your thoughts. If you are apt to pray, please pray for him.

<3

Friday, January 11, 2008

Dream the high road

I went to the psychic today. This was my Christmas present from Lenny and Clarissa. It's more of a healing process of her reading auras and chakras. She also specializes in past lives.

It sounds silly to some of you, I'm sure. But, I really feel much better after going. I honestly feel better, healed.

About life in general for me:
"For you, owning your space is part of your healing."
"Now I'm going to look at your work space...are you looking to change? Cuz you've built up the energy to do that."


About David:
"He's growing like crazy, so hopefully this growth that he's in will give him..make him stay out of your space."
"Any information in your body or your records...everything that's his, we took out and gave to him...Likewise, we went in to his records, and took out anything that is yours that belongs to you and gave it back...and he was in agreement with it...in other words, he doesn't really want to be doing this. It wouldn't be his first choice. But, he's got some stuff in his space that causes him to do it, and those things are pictures. So I got all the pictures that have you in them out of him space and any pictures in your space that he's in, out. So now there's no more common energy between you two. And really, he wants that. It's like he can't help himself. He can't help but throw energy at you."
"Did you ever think about having babies with him? Because, that's one of the ties...The baby spirit is still trying to connect you two. The baby was looking at the old contract between you two. I am just going to destroy it. [the contract]"


Lauren is going to send her spiritual guide to help David out for the next three years. And I am so happy she said that. Because, even in spite of it all, I know he is a good person inside. The situation was awful and heart wrenching, but somewhere inside him, he is still the David I knew and loved. And I want him to be happy. So, I hope her spiritual guide can help point David in the right path and clear the spiritual impurities out of his space.

About Grad School:
"This new phase in your life, this new place, it is exactly what you need to do."
"What will be obvious to you will be a huge epiphany to someone else."
"Hmm, about a baby. Where have you put that? Watch that, because that's the in your space. All that creative female energy will manifest a baby if you aren't careful. And I mean be *really* careful."
"I see a soul group. You're at a point where you're going to travel halfway across the world to meet your soul group."
"Right now, this person is just a bud. For him to meet your contract, he's got to grow, got to blossom. He's going to present himself to you as a fully-budded rose."



Dream the high road.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Somedays aren't yours at all, they come and go as if they're someone else's days


八十八日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
Hi everyone. I don't really want to write any daily happies, again. To be honest, I am not sure if I am done with them or not. Of course, I will always have my daily happies. But, do I share them? I don't know. Maybe.

Anyway, I really jut felt like rambling for a moment.

I feel some change coming to me soon. I think my growth period is not over yet. I think the beginning of this year will be needed to rejuvenate my life and my love. But afterwards, I foresee some exciting things.

I just want you to all know that you are loved by me. I don't think I could have survived the awful times of 2007 without the love from my friends and family. This year, things will finally be coming together for me, I just know it. I will finally get to move past my old life and my old self. It is time to move forward with who I am and who I will be.

Bring it on, 2008!
Fuck you, 2006 and 2007!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

No disrespect, but that's just how I am


Beautiful Disaster
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
I don't know why I am making a post today.

I am in a "why am I still in San Diego? I hate my job. I just want to move to London so I can finally do something I like..." mood.



p.s. Like this photo... because I do.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Horoscopes, Love, and Tears

Today's:
"Someone you finally got out of your life will return, insisting they've changed. Why believe them this time?"

Wow. Sometimes I believe in this sort of thing.

So, I've been thinking about David a lot lately. I think it's because it was my first Christmas without him in my life in many years. Also, tomorrow is his birthday. He will be 25.

In my moment of weakness, I read through his blog. It was good for me, though it has shaken me up a bit. He says he is ashamed at his foolish behavior and mistakes that ended our relationship. And while this does not take back what happened, far from it... at least I know that he knows what he did is wrong. I hope he does not ever do this to another girl. And I worry for him, as I strongly believe in karma. I am quite afraid that his actions have built up a large amount of bad karma for him.

And while I can never forgive or forget him for what happened, I will always love him. I think recently I am coming to terms with this. I may never want to speak to him or hear from him again, but some part of my heart will always belong to him. Maybe it is the damaged portion, but some part of it will always have his name on it.

Is that what love is? Each lover claims a part of your heart, burns their name into your heart's flesh, and then does what they want to it?

I just hope that some day I find someone who will treasure and care for it the way that it deserves.



Happy birthday, David.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Merry Christmas


Merry Christmas
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
Merry Christmas to all of you. I wish you well in the upcoming year.

May 2008 be better than 2007! By a lot! ^_^

Monday, December 17, 2007

My Horoscope

"You've been unhappy with the way something in your past ended, but a fresh start is coming your way..."

Hmmm. This sounds promising.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Save Ocha!!


Ocha
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
Yesterday I took Ocha to the vet, as I had found a strange lump on his leg. As it turns out, it is an abscess. The vet gave me an injection to give him to hopefully help it go down, but there is no way it will make it go completely away. She recommended surgery to get it out, but this will cost $700-$800!! As you all know, I do not have anywhere near that.

So, I was thinking that it would be best to start a Save Ocha campaign. I am going to print up some t-shirts with him cute lil face to support the cause. All proceeds from the shirts will go to Ocha and his little bunny tumor.

This is where you come in. So, my photoshop-savvy friends, I would love one of you to design the logo/image for Save Ocha. Choose your favorite Ocha picture to doctor up for the tshirt designs. The winning designer will get a free Save Ocha tshirt. You can email your designs to me at abigail.lee@gmail.com

Please help me with this. I really can't afford this surgery. Anything would help. Even love and hugs to Ocha.

Thanks y'all!

Love,
Abie and Ocha

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Things are changing


五十五日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
Well, I did it. I turned in my application for London College of Fashion. And I had my interview.

If you want to hear about it, call me. I want to tell you that way so you can hear how excited I am about it all!

Suffice it to say that I have a pretty good chance of moving to London.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

We're 2 from 1


Inspired by dm74
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
Today is for sure a day for a list of happy thoughts. thanksgiving, as it is a time to be thankful, is the perfect day for this blog!

Here is a list of things I am thankful for. It's not everything. That would be infinite.
1. My family. I called home today and got to speak to all of them. I miss them dearly. I can't wait to be home for Christmas to be with them. They are each amazing and wonderful in their own special way, and I love them!
2. My friends - My friends keep me alive. i don't know what I would do without them. They constantly support and save me. They are always around to share a laugh or a cry. I don't know what I would do without them.
3. I woke up this morning. That is so amazing! Waking up every day is something to be thankful for. I am thankful that I have the opportunity for life and love. Thanks universe!
4. Music. I am thankful for music. Without it, my life would be so quiet.
5. Literature. The best way to escape from the world. Bless all of you writers out there!
6. The internet - this is silly, but I am so thankful for it. Without the internet, I would completely lose touch with many people I love. Thank you internet, for offering me an amazing way to interact with my loved ones around the world!
7. Myself - You know, I am thankful for me. I am thankful that I have found the strength to survive this year. I am a stronger person for it, now.


<3<3<3

Sunday, November 04, 2007

The heart pounds, as always. But this time out of rhythm with time.


三十三日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
I've been thinking a lot recently about doors. No, not the doors that my company makes. I've been thinking about the doors that open to reveal new and great surprises in life, and the ones which you open and realize that that was the wrong door!

I have realize that my last year in the relationship with David was the latter of those doors. So is my move to San Diego. My time here is an interim period between then and the future. The now doesn't concern me, as I know it will continue on and on. I have been thinking towards the future a lot lately.

I thought that I would leave San Diego and move back to Georgia. This is not to say that won't happen. But, I've been considering many more options.

Let's think about this move and what it would mean. It would mean I would be close to my family and friends again. It would mean that if Karl was having an awful day, I could be there for him. It would mean that I can have dinner with my parents and enjoy their company. It would mean that I can finally be around people with whom I feel completely comfortable.

But, it would also mean that I would have to find another crap job. Unfortunately, all of the careers to which I aspire, none are available in the south. Also, it would require me to move back to Georgia. That sounds like the obvious statement of the year, right? The thing is that I would dread it. I don't like living in Georgia. I lived there for over 20 years. I feel like moving back there would almost be an affirmation that I failed here in San Diego. I know that is not the truth. I didn't really fail out here. I came out looking for something new and to run away from the bad feelings haunting me at the time.

Now that I am free of all that, has San Diego served its purpose? Is there more to this city than that? Sometimes I don't know. It would be hard for me to leave it, though. Truly, I love the city. And I love the beach. And I love that there is always something to do. And let's not forget the best Mexican food this side of the border! But, I am not really happy here. I am not unhappy, per se. I am just not happy. There is nothing here that does it for me.

The truth is, the only time I felt that I was completely happy in where I lived and who I was surrounded with was my time in Athens during undergrad. But, I also realize that I can't go back to Athens. After all that I have done, I just can't go back.

So, do I stay in California and consider somewhere else here? Do I move back home? Or do I try again somewhere else? How many times will I have to move to find the place where I can belong again?

At this point, my life is full of "what if" questions:
What if I don't get in to grad school?
What if I move somewhere else and hate it?
What if I ruined my chances for working at Torrid?


I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't know. I know I am meant for something some day. But for right now, I am only full of questions and doubts concerning it.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

We like our books, we love our moms


二十八日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
1. Last minute costume-making - photos tomorrow!
2. Making ZOMBIE COOKIES!
3. Took a bath this evening to relax. Di dsome sudoku in the bathtub. Love it!
4. Worked on my grad school essays. My interview is on 11/27, so I need everything finished by then. One more essay to start, plus these two to finish up on.
5. Reading a book about Madame de Pompadour

Monday, October 29, 2007

I'm waiting around for you to come get me out of here


二十二日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
There are so many things! Here is a small sampling:

The trip home:
1. Eating at Chow Baby with Nenni in Atlanta - delicious!!
2. A date with a cute boy who it turns out is AWESOME. Damn the living on opposite coasts...
3. North campus with my darlings
4. Apple pie
5. Hanging out and getting lots of Karl-time
6. Lots of Mom & Dad time
7. Karaoke in Atlanta with Bonnie: Karaoke Melody! (you must go!!!)

Since then:
1. Torrid Model Search
2.
Saturday night before Hallowen
3. Job hunting again. I am ready for a change!
4. Also, luckily the fires have not made it into my part of San Diego! That was very scary!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I want to take you far from the cynics in this town and kiss you on the


十六日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
My horoscope from Facebook:
Cancer: It's time to let a chapter of your life come to an end. It's hard to say goodbye sometimes, but important to realize when you need to move on.

So true! I am so glad that chapter is over and I can be happy again. I am working on being happy. Lots of things are going well in life, and I am so thankful for it.

My friends are so amazing. I can't wait to give them all gigantic hugs and tell them how much I love them. I am really looking forward to my weekend. There are going to be so many adventures and so many hugs!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

There'll be nothing but this thing that you'll never doubt


Red Lipstick Day
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
1. I was in a terrible grump this morning. I didn't want to see or talk to ANYONE! And the woman I am training came in at 6am with me, so I didn't get my 30 minutes of alone time this morning. I grumped and grumped at her. I knew it wasn't because of her I was irritable, so I turned to her and said, "Casey, I am in such an irritable and terrible mood. I'm sorry if I grump at you, I don't mean to." She said to me, "Well, the best was to fix that is to make ghosts out of tissues to decorate our office!" So we did. And it was fun. And it made me smile. And I was cured.
2. Got new headphones today for the airplane ride. I needed them cuz Ocha chewed thru my other ones...
3. Attached a bug in Lenny's apt tonight. Due to there being no bug spray around, I was armed with Fantastic and Glade Air Freshener.
That bug was so clean and smelled good to death!
4. Hummus and Pita for dinner.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Here lies your dream come true


十四日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
1. Ocha and I took a trip to the beach today. We met many people. Ocha was asked to be in many photographs. He is a very popular bunny.
2. I am happy for my pending trip. Very happy. I have a big hug hug waiting for you! (Yes you! All of you!)
3. I drank hot chocolate this morning instead of coffee. It was perfect.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

When I am with you, I feel flames again


Red Lipstick Day
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee
This has been the weekend I needed. Here are some happy moments from it.

1. Friday I wore red lipstick. This is a photo from my photo-taking adventure.
2. Decided on Friday that I wanted to get crunk. Went out to see Dan's band "Syndicate" and I got crunk. Danced a LOT. Met a LOT of people. I was on a mission to have fun and I did.
3. Woke up on Saturday morning to Diego kisses. Harumph'ed on Lenny's bed with Lenny, Julie, Ian, and Diego. (If you were not Apt 6, you might not get this. Sorry. Ask me to show you some time.)
4. Ate mac n cheese for breakfast on Saturday. And watched lots of crap TV. I didn't get out of my PJs until 5pm!
5. Saturday night saw a play Clarissa costumed: Annie Warbucks. It was really cute.
6. After the play, went to Crest Cafe in Hillcrest and had a "Oui Oui Burger". It was a delicious burger with blue cheese on it. Yum!!