When we get there, we're gonna fly so far away

So, my cough isn't gone yet. The only night that I've actually slept through is the night that I went to bed drunk. I don't think I like that because I don't drink very often, so I'm not going to get to sleep a full night for a long time! Last night, I went to bed at 3 (whoops!) and didn't fall asleep to well past 5. *sigh* I hope some day I don't cough through the night.

Anyway, this week has been good. Here are some happenings:
Saturday night, we celebrated Scott's birthday (Kirsli's boyfriend). We went to The Elephant's Head in Camden, and it was tons of fun. They were playing all the music that I loved as a child: basically ever song from my cassette tape called "Chartbusters: Hits from the 50's."

Today, I woke up, had a relaxing breakfast, and went to the British Library to sign up for a library card there. It took a long time, but the guy who helped me was super nice. He asked where I was from, and when I said Georgia, he knew where it was! Impressive. He's the first Brit that I've met who knew where GA is. I mean, that's not bad, cuz if they asked me where Liverpool is, I couldn't say... Anyway, I complimented him on his knowledge of America, and he said "Well, I am a librarian." Hehehe

This week, I have a couple things which I am really looking forward to. On Wednesday, one of my classes is going to be at the Fashion and Textile Museum where we are going to have a tour and talk with the curator of the Bill Gibb exhibition, which is going to be really interesting! Then, on Thursday, I am meeting up with my friend Theresa, and we are going to go to the National Portrait Gallery, and then eat Mexican food!
YESSSSSSS!

Running from the cold up in [...] England ^_~

I feel like another post is needed after yesterday's adventures. As I'm sure you could all tell, I was not in a great mood, as my idea for a paper had been shot down, and I'd already started working on it.

Well, a couple things have happened since then that have cheered me up.

I went up to have my meeting with Amy, and she is just such a lovely person. I told her about my idea for a final dissertation...she absolutely loved it. As I explained what I've learned and how much area there is to research, she got more and more excited I am going to start my work over Christmas break, I think. She told me that I need to contact the V&A to use their archives in my research. She said that once I write a draft to them, she and I will go thru it with a fine tooth comb together. She was just so encouraging about my idea. And when I told her about my idea of an artistic collaboration with My on a visual, she was SO stoked. She said that no one had done that before, and that collaboration is the most important thing these days. Oh man, it was a really good talk.

But, I didn't talk to her about my frustrating paper. I was still too mad at that point. But, I talked to Karl about it, ad he fixed my panes. ^_~

My brother just gives me such good perspective on things. He said that even if I don't write it for this class, that I should pursue it in my own time. He thinks that it's a very valid and interesting idea that I could even try to get published. And then my professor would feel silly, huh! Anyway, he suggested that I bring her the work I've done so far, and include an outline and a bibliography, and see what she says. If not, he helped me come up with a backup idea that would be interesting to write about as well. We'll see how my meeting goes with her tomorrow.

Some days are up, some days are down.

Ugh. Today is not such a great day. It's 2:30pm as I write this, and I am just about ready to give up for the day.

Last night, I barely slept. My cough just won't go away. I probably got anywhere from 2-3 hours of sleep, and that's being generous. I just layed in bed coughing all night. And I didn't have any medicine to take, so I had a spoonful of honey a couple of times, which helped for about 10 minute incriments. And so today, I am absolutely exhausted.

In addition to my exhaustion, I received an email from one of my professors in response to my idea proposal for our term paper. It's the one on Akira Kurosawa's Dreams. Anyway, she thought the idea was absolute crap, so I am back at square one, with less than a month to think of a new topic, research, and write. I am so ready to give up, at least for today.. but I can't. I have a meeting with Amy at 3:45 and then a class from 5-8pm.

And now that I've gotten the news on that other paper, I am so not excited to talk to Amy about what I was plannign to discuss with her. I wanted to ask her opinion on my idea for a final dissertation project...but I'm not sure if I can handle this intellectual rejection twice in one day!

Ugh. Wish me luck.


New ideas for a topic:
None.

The Youth and Beauty Parade

Oh life. It has been a roller coaster week. It started out very, very bad...but has ended up to be pretty ok. On Monday, as you can tell from my last post, it was Ocha's birthday. I still am very sad about Ocha, but he was a wonderful son. Also on Monday, I found out that my pup, Shadow, who has been a part of our family for over 14 years, passed away.

So, that all made for a harsh Monday. But, I am lucky to have such wonderful friends who offer me the love and support that I need.

Other that that this week, I have been doing a lot of stuff for school. I went to the Bill Gibb exhibit at the Fashion&Textile Museum, as well as the Late at Tate event that I had posted about before.

The Bill Gibb exhibition was interesting. I went with classmates Geraldine and Susana, and we all had a lot to talk about. The exhibit was for a designer from the 70s, so was very over-the-top. As far as the curation of the exhibit, I don't think that I enjoyed it because there was almost too much there. Anyway, I am not writing my critique on that exhibit!

Late at Tate was really fun. I met up with my classmate Geraldine, and I went to a talk on Frame Conservation, which was fascinating. The more and more I think about it, the more interesting I find conservation...but I don't have the interest in science that is needed to really pursue it... As I was walking home from the station on Friday night, I was almost home, and I saw Kirsli, Scott, and Fran walking towards me. So, they recruited me and we went to our fave pub, The Burly George (real name is The Barley Mow). It's a really nice place, with decent prices, and a really friendly staff.

Other than that, I am also really excited about having some ideas for my final dissertation. I have a meeting with Amy tomorrow, so I think I am going to ask her and see what she thinks about it before I get too deep into it. But, I was telling my friend, My, about it, and he was excited and we were thinking about doing a collaboration on it. More on that later as details occur.

I am also getting excited about Christmas. Well, not so much Christmas. I am going to be in London on Christmas day, which sucks. I am really sad to not be home with family this year. I know my mom is sad about that too, but unfortunately I don't have the thousands of dollars to do it. So, instead, I am having a visitor and we are taking a mini-vacation to Rome. I am really excited about that.

Oh! I also spoke to my flat-mate, Masumi, and we are going to do a language exchange. English-Japanese. We both need practice, so it will be good for both of us. She is really sweet, too. I like her a lot. I don't remember if I told this story in my blog or not...but a few weeks ago,Masumi was sick. I ran into her in the hall, and she said she wasn't feeling well, so I made her a cup of hot chocolate. Then, a few days later, I saw her again, and she gave me a thank-you present of some chocolate biscuits (cookies). ^_^ I miss the kindness of the Japanese people.

Anyway, I think this is enough of a blabber! More later, I'm sure.

Happy Birthday Ocha

Today is his birthday. I made a slideshow of Ocha to remember his birthday. We would have celebrated 3 years! Ocha was such a wonderful bunny. I miss him and love him dearly.



It's amazing to think that an animal can get into your heart so deeply, but Ocha was my baby boy and my best friend. He was there for me when no one else could be. He loved me unconditionally (as long as I shared my bananas with him!)

Although he has been gone many months (May 19, 2008 RIP), I still miss him as much now as I did then.

I hope that across the Rainbow Bridge, he is happy with his new friends. I am glad with the knowledge that he is no longer in pain and suffering.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Ocha.

Love you.

Your Mom/Bunny Slave,
Abie

A man can love a woman who is always right on time

Lately I've been missing home. Not home, really, but the people that come along with being home: family and friends.

I just want you all to know that even though I am a bad blogger...I miss you all a lot!

Things here are going well. I've been battling being sick for a while, so I am trying to give it the once and for all push to get out! I am ready to be healthy again. Classes are going well. We are planning a trip to Paris around early January (possibly), which would be amazing. Rome and then Paris. Oh geebus, I want to stay in Europe! If only I could move a few key people out here as well, it would be a lot easier. Well, I guess ideally I would move all of my friends out here. That would be SO fun!

I am working on a couple of papers at the moment. One is an exhibition review/critique and the other is a soci-cultural analysis of the costumes from Akira Kurosawa's Dreams. My friend Avery inspired it, as he was the first to introduce me to that film.

Other than school work, I spend a lot of time reading (still school work) and talking online to people (a few more than others!) and going out and having fun with Kirsli and the kids here. On Friday night we (Kirsli, Scott, Juby, Lala, and me) went out to a Psycho-billy show which was neat. Kirsli and I spent a lot of time speculating about the other people at the show.

Lately, I've been in a museum mood. In the last few weeks, I've been to the British Museum, the V&A, the V&A Museum of Childhood, the Science Museum, the Tate Modern, and the Natural History Museum. Phew! And there's more! Next week, I am planning on going to an exhibition at the St. Pancras Crypt (Dark/Art/Dress) and a Late at Tate event. I am pretty excited about these.

And, I am looking more and more forward to having a visitor after Christmas. And Rome! Amazing!

But first, I've gotta knock out these two papers and a TON of reading. Back to the books!

She looked like she was not even there

Well, I am becoming a terrible blogger again. Sorry y'all! I've been keeping very busy lately.

Overall, things here are still going great. My classes are a real challenge. Grad school is a bit more different than I was prepared for, but luckily, my courses are very self-study based. So, it's really how much work you put into it is how much you will get out of it.

Here are my current courses:
Discipline of Fashion - This is a course that basically has different speakers each week discuss the different disciplines within the study of fashion.
Research Methods - So far, useless. But, I am going anyway, just to keep up being a good student.
Approaches to Contemporary Fashion - This course is really difficult. It's a cultural theory class, which is difficult because all of the readings we are working with are written in this "I'm an intellectual so I have to write in a very pompous and pretentious manner so normal muggles get confused in all out my explanations"-style of writing.
Contextual Studies - This course does not meet very often, but when it does, we learn about the other facets of the fashion industry, for example Fashion Photography or Journalism. Just to give us an overview of fashion as a whole, which should help us be more well-rounded fashionistas?

Anyway, I only have class 2 days each week, but it's still pretty intense. I have to read about 600 pages per week (I told you it was all self-study stuff!) and am working on two papers at the moment. Grad school. Busy.

But, I am still having fun! Kirsli and I hang out basically all the time, which is awesome. I am really lucky to have found someone so awesome so fast! And I am slowly making other friends. It is slow-going. I guess I haven't found my outgoing side here yet. I hope it comes back and I can return to my crazy self!

Locked down inside a view

A list of my courses for this term:
Project Proposal
Contextual Studies - Each week is a different seminar on various aspects of fashion, ranging from fashion in film to fashion technology to design to marketing.
Cultural Studies: Approaches to Contemporary Fashion
The Discipline of Fashion

4 courses. It doesn't sound too hard, right? Well, each course has a 20 page paper due at the end, at least. Geebus! I am gonna have to seriously organize my life!

She's a runner, rebel and a stunner

This has been a good week. Really, in general, I am enjoying myself so much here, I am pretty surprised. I mean, I knew I would like it... but I am bordering on loving it! I feel like I have a great balance of going out and staying in. And I am happy doing both!

Here is a day-to-day remembrance on what I have been up to in the past few days:

Thursday:
*Went to a seminar on the fashion archives at London College of Fashion. Saw some pretty amazing pieces, including one specific spectacular pair of shoes. I will put photos on Flickr.

Friday:
*Went with Kirsli to a really interesting seminar on screen printing. The guy who was in charge of it was a rockabilly guy with an awesome accent. He was really nice and patient with everyone. He shows the process from putting the image on the screen all the way to the end. And then we got to try our hand at it. I think Kirsli and I are gonna take the screen printing short course next term (it's already full for this term!).
*Then we ate lunch and chatted to a girl from Slovakia named Luba. She was really nice.
*And then we went to seminar on banking for international students...where they told me that I should cancel my bank account because it's ridiculous that they charge for an account. So I did. Ha! But now I gotta figure out where to open my account...
*In the evening, Kirsli, Juby, Chloe, Catherine, and I all went out to a pub and hung out. I think Kirsli and I decided that our favorite local pub is one called The Barley Mow. It has a great atmosphere and a great jukebox.
*Stayed up late chatting to my dino

Saturday:
*Woke up late-ish (11:30am). Got dressed and went out in search of bread, superglue, and tape. Did not find tape, but stumbled upon a street market and a bargain shop! Got lots of stuff for the room, like some tack-y stuff to hang pictures up in my room. So now, my room is much more homey and decorated!
*Came home and chatted to the dinosaur <3
*Made a DELICIOUS and deliciously simple dinner. I had chicken thighs and veggies. I baked the chicken and it was super yummy. I am quite proud! Normally, I just make a bowl of cereal for dinner. I rarely actually cook something!
*Went to Fud's birthday party, which was a blast! chatted to tons of people, danced, chatted some more. I took the bus up to Highgate, which was a bit farther away than I thought. The club/bar we went to was called The Boogaloo. The venue was really awesome, and the music was really cool! I am going to have to tell Kirsli about it. I think she'd really love it! Hopefully pictures will emerge from last night. ^_^

Where will you see the galaxy?

So, the past few days have been exciting! Here is a list of some things that I've done:

Tuesday:
-Chatted to the dino almost the entire day!
-Sent email and resume to the senior curator of fashion at the V&A
-Went to a talk about the fashion archives at London College of Fashion

Wednesday:
-Joined the Ballroom Dance Club
-Ate delicious Indian food on Brick Lane
-Drank delicious, Galaxy, hot chocolate with Kirsli and watched silly YouTube videos
-Chatted to the dino, Melo, and the wonderful and fabulous Emmerina! ^_~

And goodness is happening to someone you love

So, I've had a wonderful weekend!

On Saturday, I picked Becca up at the airport,and it was SO wonderful to see her. We came back to my dorm and just lazed around for a while...but then were off! I don't know how she did it...maybe she's a superhero. We went to see a show up in Camden. The band that we went to see was Ginger Bread Men. It was lots of fun! I knew James (the singer) in my past relationship. I wondered if it would be weird, me going to his show, being that David and I split on very unfriendly terms. But it was awesome! I had a really great time meeting some new folks, drinking adult beverages, and dancing.

Sunday, Becca, Kirsli, Scott, and I went to the Tate Modern and viewed some modern art for free. I'm not a huge fan of modern art in general, but even I had fun! Becca and I found a "seed" that you could stand in and wiggle... good times! Then we explored, trying to find a particular pub a friend had recommended to her. Unfortunately, we never found it, so we got some sandwiches and ate them in Trafalgar Square, vowing to find that pub some day.

Then today, Becca left onto her big adventure in Preston. I took her to Euston, the train station, and walked her to the train. But it was just milliseconds from leaving, so we had a very, very quick goodbye. Miss you already, Ptero-darling!

Also, I have some big news on my course: the course director got a grant, so for the next year, she's unable to teach us! Doh! BUT they set it up so the directors from the Fashion Curation course will be our tutors for this next year. And that is amazing because one of them is Amy de la Haye, who is very well-known and respected in my field. It's so exciting to be able to work directly with her!

Another day in the life...

Well, I finally got sick. I expected it to happen because of the move: eating new foods, traveling in general, walking everywhere every day a LOT, stress, rude people in London...

That's a combination of the probably reasons I am not well. But, I was bullied by the dino to get medicine, so I went out with Kirsli and Scott, and got meds. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. I got the night/day pack, so tonight I'm gonna take the night-time pills and sleep like a log tonight.

Yesterday, I went to some talks for classes. They weren't super helpful, but I did get a little bit of information. I also got my email address: amohn1@fashion.arts.ac.uk, in case you want to email my school address.

I had kinda a bad day yesterday. I am just having a tough time adjusting to the general coldness and rudeness of the people here. Kirsli tells me that NYC is worse. Ugh. I haven't met anyone else from my course yet, either, which is kinda odd. I'm sure there aren't many others, though!

I am lucky in the friends that I have made. Last night, I was feeling crappy and was grumpin pretty fiercely... so Kirsli and Scott went out and bought ice cream for dinner. They are so sweet!

I'll give you something to go one when you go back to the middle of no where

Well, I've been in London well over a week. And I am loving it more and more each day. Today, I was supposed to go into school for a tour of two of the facilities... but...I didn't go. Instead, Kirsli and I went out for a walk to try to find a market to buy stuff to cook for dinner.

We ended up discovering a really exciting part of town! We found Brick Lane, which is the most delicious smelling place, ever! It's the Bangladeshi part of town, so it smells of curry and other amazing foods. It made me so hungry! but, to keep from going to an Indian buffet... we went into Tesco and I bought a sandwich. *sigh* I wish I had more expendable income here. But I guess it's just as well, otherwise I'd never stop shopping!

We also found Petticoat Lane, which is this amazing part of town that is basically stands of cheap clothing and fabric stores galore! I can't wait to take my mom there when she comes. ^_^

When we got home, Kirsli and I made dinner: homemade mac n cheese, garlic and lemon chicken with onions, and sauteed broccoli. It was delicious! Then, Scott, Kirsli, and I just chilled out and watched some Home Improvement on tv. Random, eh!

It's called the Freeway; now I know why

I'm feeling loved up today. Basically, I feel in love today. It's so nice. i won't say with whom yet, but he knows. ^_^

I guess falling asleep on the phone with someone makes you wake up with hearts in your eyes?

Anyway, on to London adventures!! So, last night, Kirsly, Scott (her boyfriend), Flora, Maine (real name Marissa-but we call her Maine), and I went out to this pub called Barley Mow. It was really fun. Kirsly gave me "Jersey Hair," which is exciting! I've never had such big hair ever. I liked it though...so maybe I will try Jersey Hair again. Check out the photos on my Flickr!

The pub had a really awesome jukebox that was like 100 years old, BUT had great CDs to choose from. So, I buckled down, put in my 1 quid and we chose 10 songs of awesome. You know it's gonna be fun when you start off any setlist with Superstition by Stevie Wonder!

It was a great night full of singing Johnny Cash and rockin it to Reel Big Fish! 3 Americans, 1 Italian, and 1 Brit. Very silly mix.

And today, I am going to start walking south to explore. Should be fun! Haven't tried that direction yet. But first...I gotta wake up. So, I probably won't leave for a while. Ha!

I'm gonna hate you when you go

For some reason, I feel like my life here is pretty boring. More boring than back in the US, I think. Well, not really. Life is a constant adventure.

Today I went and enrolled in my course. It is going to be SO difficult. Each of the 4 taught classes culminates in a 3-4,000 word essay, my thesis proposal course has a 15,000 word essay, and the thesis itself must be 30,000 words! Geebus! My brain and fingers are going to be so tired!

I am happy because I have a dino visiting after Christmas, and then in March, Melo, Em, and Hana are coming to visit! So, if you are thinking of visiting, here are my term dates:

Fall Term:
Sept 22-Dec 12

Spring Term:
Jan 12-March 20

Summer Term:
April 20-July 3

Fall Term:
Sept 21-Dec 11

Hmmm. What else have I done recently? I went to the V&A yesterday, which was AMAZING! That museum is going to take me about 6 visits to see the whole thing. There is no way to possibly see it all in one go. I went with Flora and Kirsli. We could only handle a bit over 2 hours of it. Then, we got hungry, ate Chinese, and went to the grocery store. The other day, Kirsli and I went on a grand adventure, trying to find somewhere for me to buy a phone. I ended up ordering it online, though we will see if that works or not!!

That's all for now...

Washing Troubles Away

Good news! I finally have pillows AND blanket. Ooooh yeah. Last night was my second night with them, and it was glorious. I am also now the proud owner of a fuchsia and brown striped duvet cover AND chocolate brown towels.

The past couple of days have been nice, albeit a bit strange. I went out with a group of people to head to a pub on Monday night (Katy, Kelly, Jason, Chantal, and Kirsli). I realized that I am going to be the worst Brit ever! I just can't drink every night. I am not so good at boozing. I mean, the group I went out with wasn't going out with that intention, but when people wanted to head out again Tuesday night... I dunno. I just get a feeling that I am going to be missing a lot of fun when I decide to stay in at night.

Anyway, things are going well! I signed the checks for my loans yesterday, which is exciting! I register for classes Friday, and then start on Monday! I am so excited to finally start school again.

So, I've made two good friends so far: Kirsli and Flora. Kirsli is a punk gal from New Jersey with pink hair and a shining personality. Flora is from Italy, and is the cutest and sweetest girl ever! I like them a lot. We went exploring on Monday and found our way around a bit. Then last night, we learned where NOT to go in the dark... That's a pretty important lesson, I reckon!

Anyway, I'm not so sure yet, but I think once I really get settled, I'll like London. For now, it's just such an alternate universe for me...

London, Day 1 complete!

Here I am, sitting at the desk in my new dorm/flat, drinking a nice cup of tea. Seriously, am I British yet? lol.

This has been such a weird experience thus far, and I think it will be getting weirder.

I miss Atlanta and my dinosaur there quite a lot. After being dropped of at the airport by him, I went through security, had a good cry, and kept on my way. I felt a bit like a zombie, walking through the airport. I made a few last phone calls (to my mom) and then turned off my phone.

The flight was long, but not so bad. I literally fell asleep DURING takeoff. I remember the engine starting and the plane speeding up... but the next I remember, I was up in the air, cruising. So, that's how exhausted I was! I sat next to a pair of hilarious and adorable old British men (possibly a couple? They sure acted like it!). One of them told me a story about how when he was little, his mother knitted him a wool "swimming costume," but when he went to go swim in it, the water made the wool stretch and it fell off! Haha!

When the plane landed, I was supposed to be met by a driver to bring me to my dorm... but I couldn't find him for the life of me! I had the Airport Information peope page 3 times, then I called on a payphone to my dorm (I was pretty stressed by now!) and they said he would find me. And he did. And then I was on my way.

The dorm looks really nice from the outside and is spin-n-span on the inside. My room looks a bit like a hotel. There is nothing in it. I had ordered a move-in pack, which was to have a blanket, utensils, sheets, etc...but it didn't arrive. So I went out looking for those things yesterday and couldn't find them. Oh man, I am going to get lost so much! What a confusing layout! Anyway, so I slept last night, curled up on my sheet-less mattress, wearing about 16 layers of clothes, using my scarves as a pillow, and my jackets as a blanket. I am so pathetic!

So, a pillow is my first mission of the day (after breakfast!). Here I go!

A poem I wrote in 2003

Today is the day:
for walking slow to class
for thinking of who I'll pass
for looking at the sky
for watching the cars go by
for walking up eight flights of stairs
to tell someone that you care
for being all alone
for wanting to be home
for wondering why leaves are green
for seeing the concrete steam
for fighting for your rights
for understanding others' plights
for saying hello to friends
for saying no to trends
to take him out to lunch
for spiking the party's punch
for wearing your new shoes
for being what you choose
to stand up and rejoice
for making your own choice.

Spare some for spare parts

Daily Happies
1. Last night I went out with Kris again. I like him more and more each time we hang out. We had a talk last night about what to do about us. We decided that the boy/girlfriend thing wouldn't work. We are both just caught up on the whole "Abie is leaving in a few months" thing. So, I think we decided to just have fun and not try and label it. I feel better with that decision anyway. I don't need lots of complication in my life. But, I really do like him a lot.
2. Went thrift store shopping today and got a super cute dress AND a super cute nightgown that I may wear as a dress. If I do, I will try and put photos up. It's so adorable and vintage-y! Very 60's.
3. I took a 4 hour nap today. Yes, this is a cause for joy. I rarely allow myself naps!
4. I slept until past 10am today. And woke up and snuggled. God, I forgot how amazing cuddling is. Seriously, it's the best part of life.
5. I ate some Taro Ice Cream for dessert. Yum!!!
6. Last night, I went to a Comedy Burlesque show at Shakespeare's Tavern. It was hilarious, AND I got to see them set some guy's nipple on fire!

2008 and Beyond

I never posted these before online, but they have been posted in my room. But now, as I am moving, I have to decide what to bring and leave. So, rather than taking the full posterboard, here are my lists:

2008
1. Move out of San Diego
2. Take a long walk at least 1x per month
3. Wear heels 1x per month
4. Lose 20 lbs
5. Get another tattoo
6. Drink at least 8 glasses of H20 per day
7. Read at least 1 book per month
8. Take a photography course
9. Take Japanese lessons
10. Learn to skateboard

Beyond
1. Ride in a hot air balloon
2. Visit the Aurora Borealis
3. See Maachu Picchu
4. Become fluent in Japanese
5. Marry someone amazing and worth it
6. Ride the fastest roller coaster in the world
7. See Sigur Ros in concert
8. Wear a bikini
9. Go to carnaval in Rio de Janeiro
10. Get my Masters degree

When it all comes true

"Cancer: A few annoying events will have you feeling grouchy, but luckily, the day will end really well. ."

I am really freaked out when horoscopes are right on the money. today started out to be an awful day!

I was running late, left the house, locked the door, then realized that I forgot to put deodorant on. So, I open it back up, go to the bathroom with all of my things, and proceed to put on deodorant. I was in a hurry, but I told myself, "Abie, if you go too fast, you are going to get deodorant all over you black shirt." And so I slowed down to keep that fro happening. Then, as I was taking the deodorant stick out from my shirt, I accidentally knocked over my coffee ALL OVER MY STUFF in the bathroom. I ruined 2 sets of eyeshadow, got coffee all over my flat iron and hairbrush and toothbrush, and then only had half a cup to drink! Grr!

But, then, as the day wore on, it got better, I got out of my grump...and now, it is GORGEOUS outside. I am going to head to the beach today, just to sit and lounge before the evening. Be jealous.

See you guys in Georgia in 2 weeks!
See you in London in a few months!

Love love love!

You can try the best you can

Handsome
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

having pets is like having children. To me, Ocha is almost a son. He has been with me through so many hard times. He has always loved me and been there for me. There are few out there who can claim that.

Today, I got bad news about Ocha. He has another abscess.

I feel so bad for him. I just want him to get better. I cried when the vet told me. She is awesome and doesn't charge me what she really should for the surgeries... but what do we do if surgery doesn't work?

I hope Ocha is ok. He is so important to me. Everyone, please keep Ocha in your thoughts. If you are apt to pray, please pray for him.

<3

Dream the high road

I went to the psychic today. This was my Christmas present from Lenny and Clarissa. It's more of a healing process of her reading auras and chakras. She also specializes in past lives.

It sounds silly to some of you, I'm sure. But, I really feel much better after going. I honestly feel better, healed.

About life in general for me:
"For you, owning your space is part of your healing."
"Now I'm going to look at your work space...are you looking to change? Cuz you've built up the energy to do that."

About David:
"He's growing like crazy, so hopefully this growth that he's in will give him..make him stay out of your space."
"Any information in your body or your records...everything that's his, we took out and gave to him...Likewise, we went in to his records, and took out anything that is yours that belongs to you and gave it back...and he was in agreement with it...in other words, he doesn't really want to be doing this. It wouldn't be his first choice. But, he's got some stuff in his space that causes him to do it, and those things are pictures. So I got all the pictures that have you in them out of him space and any pictures in your space that he's in, out. So now there's no more common energy between you two. And really, he wants that. It's like he can't help himself. He can't help but throw energy at you."
"Did you ever think about having babies with him? Because, that's one of the ties...The baby spirit is still trying to connect you two. The baby was looking at the old contract between you two. I am just going to destroy it. [the contract]"

Lauren is going to send her spiritual guide to help David out for the next three years. And I am so happy she said that. Because, even in spite of it all, I know he is a good person inside. The situation was awful and heart wrenching, but somewhere inside him, he is still the David I knew and loved. And I want him to be happy. So, I hope her spiritual guide can help point David in the right path and clear the spiritual impurities out of his space.

About Grad School:
"This new phase in your life, this new place, it is exactly what you need to do."
"What will be obvious to you will be a huge epiphany to someone else."
"Hmm, about a baby. Where have you put that? Watch that, because that's the in your space. All that creative female energy will manifest a baby if you aren't careful. And I mean be *really* careful."
"I see a soul group. You're at a point where you're going to travel halfway across the world to meet your soul group."
"Right now, this person is just a bud. For him to meet your contract, he's got to grow, got to blossom. He's going to present himself to you as a fully-budded rose."



Dream the high road.

Somedays aren't yours at all, they come and go as if they're someone else's days

八十八日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

Hi everyone. I don't really want to write any daily happies, again. To be honest, I am not sure if I am done with them or not. Of course, I will always have my daily happies. But, do I share them? I don't know. Maybe.

Anyway, I really jut felt like rambling for a moment.

I feel some change coming to me soon. I think my growth period is not over yet. I think the beginning of this year will be needed to rejuvenate my life and my love. But afterwards, I foresee some exciting things.

I just want you to all know that you are loved by me. I don't think I could have survived the awful times of 2007 without the love from my friends and family. This year, things will finally be coming together for me, I just know it. I will finally get to move past my old life and my old self. It is time to move forward with who I am and who I will be.

Bring it on, 2008!
Fuck you, 2006 and 2007!

No disrespect, but that's just how I am

Beautiful Disaster
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

I don't know why I am making a post today.

I am in a "why am I still in San Diego? I hate my job. I just want to move to London so I can finally do something I like..." mood.



p.s. Like this photo... because I do.

Horoscopes, Love, and Tears

Today's:
"Someone you finally got out of your life will return, insisting they've changed. Why believe them this time?"

Wow. Sometimes I believe in this sort of thing.

So, I've been thinking about David a lot lately. I think it's because it was my first Christmas without him in my life in many years. Also, tomorrow is his birthday. He will be 25.

In my moment of weakness, I read through his blog. It was good for me, though it has shaken me up a bit. He says he is ashamed at his foolish behavior and mistakes that ended our relationship. And while this does not take back what happened, far from it... at least I know that he knows what he did is wrong. I hope he does not ever do this to another girl. And I worry for him, as I strongly believe in karma. I am quite afraid that his actions have built up a large amount of bad karma for him.

And while I can never forgive or forget him for what happened, I will always love him. I think recently I am coming to terms with this. I may never want to speak to him or hear from him again, but some part of my heart will always belong to him. Maybe it is the damaged portion, but some part of it will always have his name on it.

Is that what love is? Each lover claims a part of your heart, burns their name into your heart's flesh, and then does what they want to it?

I just hope that some day I find someone who will treasure and care for it the way that it deserves.



Happy birthday, David.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

Merry Christmas to all of you. I wish you well in the upcoming year.

May 2008 be better than 2007! By a lot! ^_^

My Horoscope

"You've been unhappy with the way something in your past ended, but a fresh start is coming your way..."

Hmmm. This sounds promising.

Save Ocha!!

Ocha
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

Yesterday I took Ocha to the vet, as I had found a strange lump on his leg. As it turns out, it is an abscess. The vet gave me an injection to give him to hopefully help it go down, but there is no way it will make it go completely away. She recommended surgery to get it out, but this will cost $700-$800!! As you all know, I do not have anywhere near that.

So, I was thinking that it would be best to start a Save Ocha campaign. I am going to print up some t-shirts with him cute lil face to support the cause. All proceeds from the shirts will go to Ocha and his little bunny tumor.

This is where you come in. So, my photoshop-savvy friends, I would love one of you to design the logo/image for Save Ocha. Choose your favorite Ocha picture to doctor up for the tshirt designs. The winning designer will get a free Save Ocha tshirt. You can email your designs to me at abigail.lee@gmail.com

Please help me with this. I really can't afford this surgery. Anything would help. Even love and hugs to Ocha.

Thanks y'all!

Love,
Abie and Ocha

Things are changing

五十五日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

Well, I did it. I turned in my application for London College of Fashion. And I had my interview.

If you want to hear about it, call me. I want to tell you that way so you can hear how excited I am about it all!

Suffice it to say that I have a pretty good chance of moving to London.

We're 2 from 1

Inspired by dm74
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

Today is for sure a day for a list of happy thoughts. thanksgiving, as it is a time to be thankful, is the perfect day for this blog!

Here is a list of things I am thankful for. It's not everything. That would be infinite.
1. My family. I called home today and got to speak to all of them. I miss them dearly. I can't wait to be home for Christmas to be with them. They are each amazing and wonderful in their own special way, and I love them!
2. My friends - My friends keep me alive. i don't know what I would do without them. They constantly support and save me. They are always around to share a laugh or a cry. I don't know what I would do without them.
3. I woke up this morning. That is so amazing! Waking up every day is something to be thankful for. I am thankful that I have the opportunity for life and love. Thanks universe!
4. Music. I am thankful for music. Without it, my life would be so quiet.
5. Literature. The best way to escape from the world. Bless all of you writers out there!
6. The internet - this is silly, but I am so thankful for it. Without the internet, I would completely lose touch with many people I love. Thank you internet, for offering me an amazing way to interact with my loved ones around the world!
7. Myself - You know, I am thankful for me. I am thankful that I have found the strength to survive this year. I am a stronger person for it, now.


<3<3<3

The heart pounds, as always. But this time out of rhythm with time.

三十三日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

I've been thinking a lot recently about doors. No, not the doors that my company makes. I've been thinking about the doors that open to reveal new and great surprises in life, and the ones which you open and realize that that was the wrong door!

I have realize that my last year in the relationship with David was the latter of those doors. So is my move to San Diego. My time here is an interim period between then and the future. The now doesn't concern me, as I know it will continue on and on. I have been thinking towards the future a lot lately.

I thought that I would leave San Diego and move back to Georgia. This is not to say that won't happen. But, I've been considering many more options.

Let's think about this move and what it would mean. It would mean I would be close to my family and friends again. It would mean that if Karl was having an awful day, I could be there for him. It would mean that I can have dinner with my parents and enjoy their company. It would mean that I can finally be around people with whom I feel completely comfortable.

But, it would also mean that I would have to find another crap job. Unfortunately, all of the careers to which I aspire, none are available in the south. Also, it would require me to move back to Georgia. That sounds like the obvious statement of the year, right? The thing is that I would dread it. I don't like living in Georgia. I lived there for over 20 years. I feel like moving back there would almost be an affirmation that I failed here in San Diego. I know that is not the truth. I didn't really fail out here. I came out looking for something new and to run away from the bad feelings haunting me at the time.

Now that I am free of all that, has San Diego served its purpose? Is there more to this city than that? Sometimes I don't know. It would be hard for me to leave it, though. Truly, I love the city. And I love the beach. And I love that there is always something to do. And let's not forget the best Mexican food this side of the border! But, I am not really happy here. I am not unhappy, per se. I am just not happy. There is nothing here that does it for me.

The truth is, the only time I felt that I was completely happy in where I lived and who I was surrounded with was my time in Athens during undergrad. But, I also realize that I can't go back to Athens. After all that I have done, I just can't go back.

So, do I stay in California and consider somewhere else here? Do I move back home? Or do I try again somewhere else? How many times will I have to move to find the place where I can belong again?

At this point, my life is full of "what if" questions:
What if I don't get in to grad school?
What if I move somewhere else and hate it?
What if I ruined my chances for working at Torrid?


I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't know. I know I am meant for something some day. But for right now, I am only full of questions and doubts concerning it.

We like our books, we love our moms

二十八日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

1. Last minute costume-making - photos tomorrow!
2. Making ZOMBIE COOKIES!
3. Took a bath this evening to relax. Di dsome sudoku in the bathtub. Love it!
4. Worked on my grad school essays. My interview is on 11/27, so I need everything finished by then. One more essay to start, plus these two to finish up on.
5. Reading a book about Madame de Pompadour

I'm waiting around for you to come get me out of here

二十二日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

There are so many things! Here is a small sampling:

The trip home:
1. Eating at Chow Baby with Nenni in Atlanta - delicious!!
2. A date with a cute boy who it turns out is AWESOME. Damn the living on opposite coasts...
3. North campus with my darlings
4. Apple pie
5. Hanging out and getting lots of Karl-time
6. Lots of Mom & Dad time
7. Karaoke in Atlanta with Bonnie: Karaoke Melody! (you must go!!!)

Since then:
1. Torrid Model Search
2. Saturday night before Hallowen
3. Job hunting again. I am ready for a change!
4. Also, luckily the fires have not made it into my part of San Diego! That was very scary!

I want to take you far from the cynics in this town and kiss you on the

十六日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

My horoscope from Facebook:
Cancer: It's time to let a chapter of your life come to an end. It's hard to say goodbye sometimes, but important to realize when you need to move on.

So true! I am so glad that chapter is over and I can be happy again. I am working on being happy. Lots of things are going well in life, and I am so thankful for it.

My friends are so amazing. I can't wait to give them all gigantic hugs and tell them how much I love them. I am really looking forward to my weekend. There are going to be so many adventures and so many hugs!

There'll be nothing but this thing that you'll never doubt

Red Lipstick Day
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

1. I was in a terrible grump this morning. I didn't want to see or talk to ANYONE! And the woman I am training came in at 6am with me, so I didn't get my 30 minutes of alone time this morning. I grumped and grumped at her. I knew it wasn't because of her I was irritable, so I turned to her and said, "Casey, I am in such an irritable and terrible mood. I'm sorry if I grump at you, I don't mean to." She said to me, "Well, the best was to fix that is to make ghosts out of tissues to decorate our office!" So we did. And it was fun. And it made me smile. And I was cured.
2. Got new headphones today for the airplane ride. I needed them cuz Ocha chewed thru my other ones...
3. Attached a bug in Lenny's apt tonight. Due to there being no bug spray around, I was armed with Fantastic and Glade Air Freshener.
That bug was so clean and smelled good to death!
4. Hummus and Pita for dinner.

Here lies your dream come true

十四日
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

1. Ocha and I took a trip to the beach today. We met many people. Ocha was asked to be in many photographs. He is a very popular bunny.
2. I am happy for my pending trip. Very happy. I have a big hug hug waiting for you! (Yes you! All of you!)
3. I drank hot chocolate this morning instead of coffee. It was perfect.

When I am with you, I feel flames again

Red Lipstick Day
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

This has been the weekend I needed. Here are some happy moments from it.

1. Friday I wore red lipstick. This is a photo from my photo-taking adventure.
2. Decided on Friday that I wanted to get crunk. Went out to see Dan's band "Syndicate" and I got crunk. Danced a LOT. Met a LOT of people. I was on a mission to have fun and I did.
3. Woke up on Saturday morning to Diego kisses. Harumph'ed on Lenny's bed with Lenny, Julie, Ian, and Diego. (If you were not Apt 6, you might not get this. Sorry. Ask me to show you some time.)
4. Ate mac n cheese for breakfast on Saturday. And watched lots of crap TV. I didn't get out of my PJs until 5pm!
5. Saturday night saw a play Clarissa costumed: Annie Warbucks. It was really cute.
6. After the play, went to Crest Cafe in Hillcrest and had a "Oui Oui Burger". It was a delicious burger with blue cheese on it. Yum!!

I did it.

I deleted my "Fuck you, David" folder on my computer. There is no longer anything else with his name or face on it on my computer.

I am proud and happy that I finally deleted it.

Take it easy. I already know what's been going on. I knew it all along.

Today I don't want to post daily happies. I have some to share, but I feel more like sharing this video.

We're nerds in love, we're 1 + 1

1. I was feeling well enough this morning to get out of the house.
2. Bought Special Edition PG Tips and Caramel Digestives. Yum!! Oh, I also got some Cadbury chocolate with extra almonds. Yum! I am glad to be allowed to eat nuts again.
3. I found a Daiso here in San Diego!! That may mean nothing to you guys who aren't from Japan... but Daiso was a store I bought EVERYTHING at in Japan. And there is one here. Oh my gosh. When I saw it, I got super homesick for Japan and smile really big.
4. Went to HRS to buy Ocha some hay and met a cute white bunny named "Peanut"
5. Talked to Karl and Jenn on the phone.
6. I took myself to Chick-fil-a as a treat for lunch. I asked for lots of Polynesian Sauce, and the cute boy at the counter gave me 6! Muahahaha!
7. Here is an mp3 of the song I am listening to right now. Download it. You will love it. It's by Fergus Brown and is called Nerds in Love.

Be kind to me, or treat me mean; I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

Devious Ocha
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

1. I have been home sick for the past two days. I think I have the flu. My voice works today, but my body is so achy and hurty... But, at least I am home.
2. I have been knitting the past two days. I finished 1 very small project and am moving on to another.
3. I painted again on Wednesay, and I really like how they are turning out so far.
4. Clarissa and Lenny brought over OJ, medicine, Sprite, and soup last night. They are such sweet girls.
5. Ocha has been very exciting about the knitting process. So far, he is loving chewing on all the paper wrappings around the yarn. And he is loving knowing yarn around an drolling it everywhere.
6. I watched all of Season 1 Murder She Wrote yesterday.

You'll soon forget that there's any other place

Pirate Diego
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

1. First and foremost, Pirate Diego!!! That's his Halloween costume that Lenny's mom bought him. So cute!
2. I think I am getting sick. I am now drinking tea to boost up my immune system. I doubt that works, but maybe if I pretend hard enough, it will work.
3. I have been painting again. Purple. That's the color of choice.
4. Xmas shopping is going pretty well. It feels good to have started already. That was I won't stress so much later.
5. Take me to 東京.

If you got the dogs you got bitches, Bitches always out to put their paws on your riches, If you got riches,you got glitches, If you got glitches in your life computer turn it off and then reboota, Now you back on.

The Drive Home
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

1. Friday began with TAMALES. Best way to start off anything!
2. Friday night, Lenny, Clarissa, and I went to a new and exotic bar. Well, it was new and exotic to us. We got super drunk, then called Dan to pick us up. He's stellar!
3. Saturday, I woke up to this face with a million kisses.
4. Went to a bbq with my bro-in-law and nephews. Played at the beach with their cousins. So cute!
5. Fell asleep to Eddie Izzard.
6. Went to Little Italy Sunday morning to drink coffee and write an essay. I wrote a bunch of crap, but at least the page isn't blank anymore!
7. Painted.
8. Chatted to the wonderful and spectacular EMILY.

I can't help it because the road just rose out behind me

You are beautiful
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

1. Clarissa and I are going to Bunny Fest Today. You can bet there will be lots of Photos! Ocha will be out there, flirting with all the cute girly bunnies!
2. 2 Essays started. Mom read through them and was very critical. I love my Mom. She's so awesome and honest!
3. I have been borrowing Clarissa's sewing machine and butchering tshirts lately. I will have to take some pics of them when they are done.
4. Tea and Honey Bunches of Oats for breakfast. Yum!
5. Watched Hot Fuzz last night and really liked it!

Fancy Feet

Fancy Feet
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

Bonnie's visit was very very fun! Here are some highlights, in no particular order:

* Karaoke on friday night!
* Sang some AMAZING songs, including Do Ya Think I'm Sexy by Rod Stewart, Sakuranbo by Otsuka Ai, Freak on a Leash by KoRn, and Bohemian Rhapsody- TWICE!!
* Antique Row Cafe for breakfast. I had Banana Nut French Toast! Amazing!
* Manicures and pedicures - beautiful!
* Bonnie's mani/pedi is AWESOME and so ghetto-fab. I am a tad jealous.
* Beach sunsets
* Watched Superbad. It was really stupid and funny.
* Watched Beavis and Butthead Do America after a delicious dinner of homemade Mexican food!
* Spent all day Sunday in Hollywood - walked out of Fredrick's of Hollywood with a HUGE bad full of sexiness.
* Amoeba Music adventures
* Watched Bonnie's new Beavis and Butthead DVD. I cried laughing.

Yay Bonnie!

Emily found a smile!

Bursting
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

1. Bonnie is coming soon. I am leaving to pick her up from the airport nooooow.
2. Karaoke tonight
3. Fun things this weekend!
4. Today was finally Friday. It took so long to get here!

We are all innocent

Won't feel you anymore
Originally uploaded by Abigail Lee

1. Played in Balboa Park all evening
2. Bonnie is coming tomorrow!!!! Hurray!
3. I let myself have Starbucks today. It's pumpkin season, so I had a pumpkin spice latte and a pumpkin empanada! Oh man it was great!
4. Today's weather was perfect. The perfect amount of sunny and warm. Not to hot, not too sunny. Perfect.
5. Watched Lady and the Tramp last night as I fell asleep.

And I got ready for the future to arrive

Today has been another thinking day.

I wish I could forget most of my emotions from the past year and a half.

It's so nice, I wanna hear the same song twice

1. Having Monday off of work! Thank goodness!
2. Curling my hair
3. Drinking ice coffee in the morning (it's too hot to drink normal coffee!! Lately, it's been in the mid-high 90's here. Ugh! Next week it's finally getting back down to the 80s)
4. Going out to a bar on a Sunday night. Oh Labor Day.... Thanks again!
5. Free Hug Day is coming up!
6. Also, Talk Like A Pirate Day is too!
7. one two three new Threadless shirts
8. Ocha and I have been enjoying hanging out on the balcony. It's too hot to be inside anywhere!
9. I've already started Christmas shopping! Ooooooh yeah!

Los Dias de la Semana

1. I was told by three different customer *today* that I have a very sexy voice. Should I be extremely creeped out or flattered? Luckily, none of them said it in a super creepy way. I never thought of myself fas having anything other than a little kid voice. Apparently I have more than that.
2. Tomorrow is the big day. 3:30pm. Pictures to come.
3. I had dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets for dinner.
4. I received a really sweet and awesome text message from Armon in the middle of the night the other night. It made me all kinda of happy!
5. I also hopefully put an end to contact with another person, for the better good of mankind.
6. I got some new movies in the mail for super cheap at Amazon: Snatch, The Departed, I <3 Huckabees, The Motorcycle Diaries, Sideways, Million Dollar Baby.
7. Threadless. $10 sale. Amazing.

If you are reading this...

I would like to know:

What's your favorite color?

When you respond, please make sure you don't do it anonymously! Thanks!! I just need to know know know! <3

Recent Happies

1. Armon came to visit this weekend. It was really fun! I realized that I've always had a crush on him, but there has always been some reason why nothing could come of it. And now, our friendship is so far along (7 years!) that I don't think anything romance-y could come of it. But, we talked about it and both agreed that we've both always felt that way, but that it wouldn't work. It was good to talk about it.
2. Painting all morning on Sunday. I finished one piece, and have 3 more in the works.
3. Randomly running in to Clarissa, Lenny, and Brian at the beach on Sunday!
4. I drank 4 cups of tea yesterday.
5. Watching Scarface for the first time, and really liking it!

This crush

It is now a thing.

Just so you all know.

My Future Husband

Just so you all know, I am going to marry this boy.

Ripples of the reflection in the pool of time

Today has been a day of emotions.

I was speaking to my friend, David Titterington, today on the phone at lunch. He is visiting Kansas, so I thought it was the perfect time to call. We were chatting, and he brought up a blog post of David's. At the mere mention of it, I turned red and almost burst into tears. How is it that over 4 months later, I am still broken?

And so after work, I got and read it. It wasn't a new post. It was one he wrote in May about our breakup.

I don't know. I am so conflicted. It's so hard to give up on someone, to let them go. And I'd done such a good job since the freakout day at not looking at David online at all. But now, I've gone and done it. And it's not that I am upset that he is moving on in his life. I am moving on, too. But, it just makes me realize that we are not a part of each other's lives at all anymore.

And it's hard because I know how I feel inside. But, I imagine that he is past me, just living his life, smiling with someone else. And that hurts. And it's not fair, if he is in fact like that. I don't wish ill on him anymore. I wish happiness for him. but, I'm finally really realizing that I can't be a part of that happiness at all.


And you know what the silly thing is... I was mad at him for not sending me a birthday card.

The Sky Above, The Field Below

My favorite website of the moment: You-are-beautiful.com.

There's lots of forces in a modern world that take their toll upon a modern girl

1. I was told "You are beautiful" today. I won't say who said it to me, but it was flattering for sure. I turned bright red. Some days I feel like I am, but sometimes compliments like that just totally catch me off guard!
2. Taco Tuesday!! Terra and I went to Taco Tuesday after work. Yum!
3. Tomorrow is Wednesday, finally. Only a few days left until my birthday!! I will be the big 2-4!
4. Not having to be sad about a boyfriend who doesn't call on your birthday this year.
5. Remembering receiving one of the best homemade presents from him the year before...which involves thinking about him and not being unhappy.
6. Oh! And none of you will see how this is such a big deal, but I beat Jaime at Connect Four today on our break at work! I beat him and didn't cheat and he didn't let me win. I won fair and square! Amazing!!!!

I bought a heart made of art in the deep, deep south

1. Palm Trees
2. Hope for agoldensummer
3. Having a fruit bowl at work filled with: strawberries, nectarines, peaches, bananas, apricots, apples, and plums.
4. ube icecream
5. Learning to remember again
6. Putting on PJs immediately upon coming home
7. Lighting candles that smell like roses

I go for a very different flower

1. Soda Pop was very good! So entertaining! I laughed quite a bit! Great job, Michael!!
2. West Side Story was also very good. Clarissa did a great job with the costumes!!
3. I watched a bunch of Watanabe's videos. I miss my friends in Japan. If my time there hadn't been so confused with personal issues, I think I would feel very differently towards it all. I do miss it though. I wonder if I will move back to Japan some day.
4. I LOVE the song Ikebana with Kana. Such good memories!!
5. After West Side Story, I was invited back to Clarissa & Lenny's place for drinks and dinner...but I needed some alone time. So, I am back at the apartment, just ate dinner, milliseconds from diving into a book!

Love!

What can you do? There's nobody like you.

1. Sunsets
2. Today we had a mini "Goodbye" shindig for Malia. She is moving to the West Coast Zone... so she won't be 2 desks down from me. Sadness!
3. I went with Clarissa after work to her shop. I helped her put together some last minute things for West Side Story.
4. I'm going to LA tomorrow to visit with Michael, and then see his play, Soda Pop.
5. Sunday I am going to see West Side Story! I am excited!


And now, a video of my very good friend, Duncan. Look closely. This video was shot in my town in Japan, Tanbara.

Videos of the Day - It's a Weepies kind of day

Dreams

I had a really life-like and powerful dream about David last night. I was with him, as if nothing had ever happened. Then, I zoomed in on his face and could see every little detail about him. It was exactly him. There were even the 5 white eyebrow and eyelash hairs that he has. Suddenly, he started turning into a marionette doll. I tried to kiss him to bring him back, and it almost worked... but then, he was a doll, completely.

I really expected to wake up and find an email or something from him. Is it bad that I was disappointed when there was nothing there? I don't know what is going on in my head.

It's almost as if I am finally coming to terms with the fact that he is gone out of my life forever. It's just so hard when you devote yourself to someone so completely for so many years. For them to always be in your thoughts. It's not a change that can happen overnight. And I wonder how he is sometimes, but I know I can't find out, because that will hurt too much.

Life is weird.

I can be your out of here

1. Went out last night with the South Park Crew! Went to a different bar this time. Hamiltons. I got asked out by two guys. One was a no. One I had to think about. I don't know. The whole "dating" thing freaks me out. I don't know why. I get really flustered when people ask for my number or ask if I want to go out to dinner or something... I still think of myself as an ugly duckling, so it's just so weird!!
2. Today I bought chairs for my balcony. I sat outside and read for 2 hours today, just enjoying the quiet and being alone on my balcony.
3. I watched In Her Shoes tonight. It was an ok movie. I was ready for it to be over by the time it was done. But, it was a nice movie to get lost in.
4. I feel good tonight. Today was a recharge day. I spent the day (from when I got home from Clarissa&Lenny's place) alone, just being by myself. I played with Ocha a lot. I love that lil bun.

I am loved

I am so happy. Today I need only one happy thought. I received an email from Namioka-sensei, and today I finished translating the parts that I didn't understand. And now I do. I cried from happiness! She is such a wonderful friend to me. I miss my Jun-chan!!

I'll take a taxi to the moon, and leave this world far behind

1. I found the perfect red lipstick.
2. I drank 2 cups of coffee today. That's double what I normally drink. Needless to say, I was hyper and happy!
3. I got to talk to two of my favorite customers today. It's always a pleasure to talk to them. I didn't get to talk to all the favorites, though. I guess if I did, I would just end up chatting instead of working!
4. I ate a tofu spring roll with a peanut sauce to dip it in for lunch. It was delicious. I was thankful to my co-worker, Sara, for sharing.
5. I finished my book this evening. It helps that I was up until 11pm last night reading.
6. I took Ocha back to the vet today. His ear is healing well, but since he keeps scratching it, I have one of those little embarassing collars for him to wear. Poor Ocha. It is quite cute, though.
7. I ate Wheatabix for breakfast. They were delicious. For dinner, I made tuna cakes with veggies in the mix. Yum-o!

I'm a streetlight shining

1. Saturday was fun! In the morning, I went to a few antique shoppes nearby. I didn't find much, which is cool. But it was fun to walk around a few antique stores.
2. Got ready around 4ish, and went to Clarissa & Lenny's place 4:45ish. We ate hor d'oeuvres and drank some wine. Afterwards, we went to Clarissa's playhouse in El Cajon. We sat in the best seats in the house! Right in the middle, center. The show was so good! Called, The Senior Follies. It was basically a variety show-type where everyone in it was 55 and older! Very funny.
3. I realized that I am madly in love with Jimmy Stewart. If only we had been around in the same generation. I would have married him.
4. The finale was a gigantic tribute to America. I felt kinda bad, cuz I had to control my giggles. It's just so odd that America is the only country in the world who acts so... Patriotic. Is that the right word? Ridiculous?
4. After the show, we all went out to The Whistle Stop, the local bar near their house. We danced and drank and laughed a lot! I even danced in heels! Be impressed. Be very impressed!
5. Today, I slept till 10am!!! Double digits! Amazing! I woke up when Ocha jumped on my back. He was hungry and decided it was time for breakfast.
6. Lenny and I went to Costco today. I marveled at the sizes food can come in, in this country. It's insane! An 84 ounce jar of mayonnaise? Seriously!!
7. Lenny cooked a delicious dinner of tuna-stuffed peppers with provolone cheese on top. Yum! It was sooo yummy! I am glad that I am learning to like peppers, etc.

Violent Dreams, Every night, Turning empty pages of old magazines

1. Terra and I bought fruit for work on our 9am break. We bought bananas, apples, apricots, peaches, nectarines, grapes, and strawberries. I love that we keep a stocked fruit bowl at work. It's nice to eat healthy.
2. I finished reading Clan of the Cave Bear again. I always bawl at the end of that book. It's so well-written! And now I am 80 pages into Valley of the Horses. They just read so fast!
3. Took group pictures at work today, due to many of us wore green! Embarassed at the breast-head size ratio in this picture. I maybe was bright red for 30 minutes when Charina pointed it out.
4. Went with Terra to Victoria's Secret after work to check out the sale. Had an employee there measure me for a bra... She said 36D, and I was SO excited! But, alas. She was wrong. I'm no D cup, and doubt I ever will be. Hm.
5. I was going to go out dancing tonight... but I don't think I am up for leaving the house anymore. It's 10pm, and I was to snuggle in my pajamas and watch a movie. If only it were raining. I could do with a light thunderstorm tonight. Just because it would be so calming.
6. Tomorrow I am going to see the play that Clarissa is the designer for the costumes! I can't wait! We are going to all get really dressed up to go. Heel time! Remind me to touchup my toenail polish tomorrow.

Be my sugar bunny, honey

1. I ate leftover Chinese food for breakfast. It was orange chicken and it was delicious!
2. I spoke to one of my customers, Tommykins. He is really silly! I love that I can nickname people with serious names, like Thomas, with silly nicknames, and they accept it. I love nicknames!
3. I painted my nails fuschia.
4. My brother, Steve, called me randomly today! He called to tell me that he was in Nevada and was closeby (relatively). He is in Reno at a bowling tournament. I hope he wins!
5. It's a Jump, Little Children day! Yay! It's been a while. I'm liking it.

Back to the Daily Happies

1. Mom and Dad's visit was great! And minus a freak out this weekend, I had an amazing time. We did lots of touristy stuff and spend a lot of time with Jackie and the boys, too.
2. The Rents bought me a dining room table for my birthday! I now officially live here. I have a bed, a "sofa", AND a dining room table. California is official.
3. When I arrived at work today, I was greeted by big hugs from two of my co-workers! It's nice to be missed.
4. Tonight I am taking back my "Sigur Ros - Untitled Track 3" back.

No more

I will deal with the turmoil no more.


I never wanted to hate him. I never thought I would feel like this towards him.

Sometimes to be fair, one must be unfair

Well, this means life is moving on and needs to keep doing so. Kashiko left David a comment on Flickr that says "Love you."

You know, I don't think I will ever trust that he didn't cheat on me. Last I spoke to him, he held that he didn't do anything with her. But, there is no particle in my body that feels like he was faithful to me with her.

It's quite sad, really. I don't want it to fuck me up forever, but at the moment, I am upset with him. It's hard when someone goes from being your best friend, and most trusted person in the world...to this. I wish I hadn't have seen the comment. Ignorance is bliss and all. I should know better than to check the "Comments you've left" box. Of course she had to comment that on one I had previously commented on months ago.

I am hot all over. I just hate that he could have ever done such a shitty thing to me. I want to not believe it, but... I don't.

Shiny like a diamond in the sky

1. I wore a cute dress to work today. I had to sew a button on it, so I've been putting off wearing it. I fixed it last night and wore it to work today. Summer = dresse/skirts ONLY!
2. Mega-cleaned my apartment for my parents' visit tomorrow. This included steam-cleaning my carpet.
3. I called Emily to thank her for the lovely present! I have it up on my wall, and I love it!
4. The flowers in my apartment are still bright and beautiful. They make me smile every time I look at them. Some day, I will find a boy who sends me flowers. I don't know when, but whenever that happens, I will like it.

If I had a wall, you'd be driving me up to the ceiling

1. Today I had my review with my boss. It went well. Lots of positive things! I know I am good at my job, so I wasn't surprised. I don't want to seem haughty or anything, but I am good at dealing with people. It's my talent.
2. I told my manager about the disagreement between me and another boss. She was surprised. I told her exactly what I felt about the whole situation.
3. I am almost finished with the book that Michael is lending me. I am going to need another one soon! This one, Pattern Recognition, is very interesting! The writing style is quite different to what I'm accostumed to, but I am enjoying it. Also, I love when the endings are way different than you expect!
4. I had a talk with the Big Boss today at work. We talked about lead times for our products...He asked me how long it takes to process the folding doors in the office, which is AT LEAST 2 weeks...and from just that statement, he made my dreams come true, saying that we can tell people they officially take 10-12 weeks. Thank goodness! There are many of my headaches gone!
5. I read in the park for my entire lunch period today. It was sunny, with huge white clouds. Wonderful!
6. Mom and Dad are coming to visit this week!!! They come in Wednesday! I am sooooo excited!

I can see us in the country side, sitting in the grass laying side by side

1. Made a huge delicious breakfast today: cheesy hashbrowns, sunny-side up egg, whole wheat english muffin, and 2 slices of bacon! I don't think I've made myself such a big breakfast in aaaages.
2. I got to sleep in 2 days in a row this weekend! Due to going out and being out alll nite on Friday, I woke up Saturday at 8am...then went back to bed until almost 1pm!!!
3. Friday night, I got a call on my cell from Armon. FYI, he is in China and still found a moment to call me! What a great guy! I am going to try and save to visit him. He said we can see China, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos... so many places! I am ready!
4. Today I spent $14 on flowers at the Hillcrest Farmers Market. I've never spent so much on flowers for me before. It was a nice feeling. I probably shouldn't have done it (money-wise), but I don't care! I love having flowers in my apartment! Cheers it right up! I got 2 huge bunches of Gerbera flowers (orange and yellow) and a big bunch of pink & yellow dahlias. Pictures to come.
5. Today, I am going to clean, because my parents are coming in to town on Wednesday! I am soo excited!

AND BIG NEWS OF THE WEEK:
I bought a bed!!! It was delivered to me on Friday, and I am mega amounts of excited! I went to Marshall's and bought some 600 thread count sheets. Booyah! No more futon sleeping for me.

You'd said you'd follow through

1. I got my three new shirts from Threadless yesterday.
2. Went out dancing to a gay bar called "Flame" last night with Shantel and krew. Lots of dancing with cute boys! Too bad they were all gay! Ahh well ^_~
3. The BBQ was really fun last weekend. I helped make delicious tamales (about 6million of them!), ran around a park chatting and eating and taking pictures, received a special coloring book and jumbo crayons, went swimming in the middle of the night... FUN!
4. Sunday, I spent all day hanging out with Michael in LA. We ate cinnamon raisen bagels and drank coffee and watched some Planet Earth. Then we walked around Hollywood for a while. Went to a crazy huge costume shop! Then, we ate at a really cute (Bluebird-esque) diner near his house.
5. Had crazy hat day at work yesterday!

uhm... That's all for now.

Why should you want any other, when you're a world within a world??

Today I am in a contemplative mood. I have been a lot recently.

My life has been going in a new direction. That direction is called "Living life for me."

I had an epiphany yesterday while leaving Target. I was walking out of the store, carrying 3 huge pillows and a bad full of nailpolish and household cleaner. And, crossing the parking lot, I realized that I am happy now. I can finally be free to be me, put me first, love me first.

It's a good feeling, to remember yourself after so long of putting others first.

What a great weekend!

1. Out with friend on Sat night. BBQ'd at Sarah's house. Chatted, played pool, hung out, ate delicious food. A great evening!
2. Sunday, went to a BBQ at my sister's house. She and Dale tried to set me up with an Australian boy. Unsuccessful. Thank goodness!
3. Ate the BEST guacamole in the universe at Jackie's BBQ.
4. Woke up at 6:30am today and drove to LA to meet up with Michael. Went to Little Tokyo: ate Japanese food, did purikura, went to Kinokuya, played the taiko game. Watched Spaced and Happy Feet. It was a great Memorial Day!
5. No traffic on the way TO or FROM Los Angeles. Woah!!!

A voicemail from my sister

"Hi Ab, it's Jac. You are coming to the BBQ, right? Dale invited one of his friends' friends to come, so you wont be the only single one there! He's cute and from Australia! So he has a great accent! Not that we are trying to play matchmaker...but we are."

Oh Jackie. Goodness gracious!
I hope it's not weird. If it is, then I will play with Blake (Alicia and John's lil 2yr old!) ^_^

And anyway, Brendan and I are going to shoot paintballs today. Excellent.

Something different

Today, I am going to:
1. Straighten my hair
2. Go to a farmers market to buy lots of yummy veggies
3. Make a vegan pasta salad for the party this evening
4. Write a letter
5. Get prettied up for the shindig
6. Escape myself by having a blast with my friends


What are you going to do?

I'm sure I heard you sigh

1. Snacking on the best spinach dip and crackers at lunch.
2. Tomorrow: Pool Party!!
3. I cleaned my bathroom today after work. Like, seriously scrubbed it. It's so sparkly now!
4. Hummus in the morning! Hummus in the evening! Hummus at suppertime!
5. I have Monday off of work. Thank god! Finally, a day off. I don't get a PAID day off... but oh well. Take what you can get, right?
6. I had a customer ask fo rmy phone number today. It was random. Of course, I didn't give it to him! But, I was thankful that he's not a creepy old dude! What a random day.

The bubble's in trouble!

1. We had a picture taking contest at work today. And got in trouble with management for it. "No giggling! Get back to work!"
2. I am very close to a decision on how to handle it all.
3. I sent 4 postcards, 2 letters, and 2 packages today. I love sending mail. It's such a nice thing for the recipient.
4. I went to the gym today, finally. 3 weeks off. It's hard to go to the gym when things in life aren't on an even measure. They aren't completely yet, but I just need to wait it out till they are.
5. This weekend I watched a ton of movies with my nephews: Braveheart, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Eragon, Happy Feet, and Encino Man.
6. I swam a lot on Saturday afternoon, and it was great!
7. Friday-Sunday, I finished off an entire medium-sized Papa John's pizza! Cheese and Pineapple! YUM!

You learn to walk at a comfortable slumber

1. Being distracted.
2. Still being distracted.
3. Making mix tapes.
4. Eating a proper dinner – BBQ chicken, baked beans, baked potato.
5. Awaiting a new, sexy bathing suit.

I cried at work today

My life has felt like a mess lately. Everything seems in ruins or misplaced. It's not fun.

This morning at work, I had two co-workers confront me about a rumor they'd heard (that I thought they didnt like me). I dunno about that rumor... but it caught me off guard. And I was in a fragile mood anyway, so I burst into tears and had to answer a couple phone calls crying.

I am ready for equilibrium. And I know I'm not going to get that for a while. It's so tough.


So, tonight I am going over to Terra's house. We are going to rent a movie and eat cookie dough. Duh! The normal way girls heal.

I cried an entire roll of toilet paper this morning. It was needed, though.

I still feel angry inside about it all. But, at least this is a step towards recovery.

Friday 4/27 and Saturday 4/28

1. Eating Thai food leftovers for lunch on Friday.
2. A visit to the Dog Park with Lenny and Diego. Diego fell in love with a little Yorkie named Honzo.
3. A dinner of cheese and spinach pizza, followed by a viewing of Science of Sleep.
4. Saturday, shopping with Lenny. Bought 3 shirts and a dress for $35. Nice.
5. Hung out with Lenny all day. Shopped, walked Diego, bathed Diego, ate lunch. It was very nice.

Only 1 Happy Today, cuz it made me that happy!

I was sitting outside, enjoying the chilly evening air. Then a little boy ran into the grass under my balcony. He was playing with his imaginary friend.

It made me smile.

You've just gone and missed it, It's escaped your world

4/13
1. After work, I went out to drinks with a few of my co-workers. Even the girl who I don’t really get along with was there. It was pretty cool. I pretty much got along with the girl I don’t get along with. Maybe now that drama can be over.
2. Went to Sara’s house at 8pm. We got dolled up and went out in North Park. We went to a bar called *somethingsomething* Office. Cheap drinks = excellent!
3. I beat Sara at a game of pool. I never win, so I was pretty excited.
4. We were looking super hot that night. Lots of guys kept coming up to talk to us. It was so funny. One would leave, and then another would come up.
5. Sara and I walked back to her apartment, 2 miles!, in search of a taco shop. We couldn’t find one, so we made her step dad (who is staying with her for a bit) drive us to one. He is such a cool guy. I ate a bean and cheese burrito with guac on the side. Yum!

4/14
1. Went to the vet to get Ocha some medicine. I hope it helps soon! Everyone in the waiting room was amazed at how cute Ocha is.
2. Went to target and bough a neon green and electric blue towel for my bathroom. It’s all part of my moving-in process. I am glad I can finally move in to my apartment and San Diego. I like it here.
3. Sara and I went to Extraordinary Desserts for dinner. So, I had Viking Chocolate Cake for dinner. It was perhaps the most delicious and most chocolate-y cake of all time. Soooo good.
4. Tall Paul is going to make me a mix CD soon. I am very excited to receive it.
5. Spoke to David last night on MSN. I didn’t cry.

You don't have to speak. I feel.

Life only makes sense when you look at it backwards. Too bad we've got to live it forwards.
-13 Conversations About One Thing

Today's Daily Happy (because it's about time I start up again)
1. I opened my bag of colorful goldfish. They were delicious.
2. I planned to go out to a dessert restaurant with my co-worker, Sara, on Saturday.
3. I watched a very good movie, 12 Conversations About One Thing.
4. I got a lovely email from Emily. I like getting random emails telling me about my friends' days.
5. I had a big plate of nachos for dinner. They had refriend beans, cheese, sour cream, and avocado on top. Yum!

Bonjour, Kitten

Oh today. Today is not feeling how I want to feel.

I had a great evening last night. Around 4:45, I was picked up by my co-worker, Ursula, to go to a “Pleasure Party.” Ursula and I went and picked up our other coworker, Terra, and headed out.

The party was lots of fun. I wished Karl could have been there. He would have been the only guy, but I think he would have had a lot of fun! Especially when we played Hot Potato with a giant double-edged purple dildo! You had to pass it using only your knees, no hands. It was tough! Terra almost won, though, which was hilarious!

It was hilarious. Terra and I got super drunk from all the jello shots (probably 12 a piece!). After we left the party, we went to Terra’s apartment and drank some more. I played some poker and lost (luckily it was play money!).

This morning, Ursula, Terra, and I went and had a healthy breakfast and then Ursula and I left.

I’d felt fine all day until about noon. After that, the hangover kicked in. It’s still going, to be honest. I painted my toenails purple, hoping that would help. It didn’t.

I just watched Girl with the Pearl Earring… it was ok. Now, I’m watching Amelie and drinking Sprite. I hope the Sprite calms my tummy, which is still way out of whack.