Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Horoscopes, Love, and Tears

"Someone you finally got out of your life will return, insisting they've changed. Why believe them this time?"

Wow. Sometimes I believe in this sort of thing.

So, I've been thinking about David a lot lately. I think it's because it was my first Christmas without him in my life in many years. Also, tomorrow is his birthday. He will be 25.

In my moment of weakness, I read through his blog. It was good for me, though it has shaken me up a bit. He says he is ashamed at his foolish behavior and mistakes that ended our relationship. And while this does not take back what happened, far from it... at least I know that he knows what he did is wrong. I hope he does not ever do this to another girl. And I worry for him, as I strongly believe in karma. I am quite afraid that his actions have built up a large amount of bad karma for him.

And while I can never forgive or forget him for what happened, I will always love him. I think recently I am coming to terms with this. I may never want to speak to him or hear from him again, but some part of my heart will always belong to him. Maybe it is the damaged portion, but some part of it will always have his name on it.

Is that what love is? Each lover claims a part of your heart, burns their name into your heart's flesh, and then does what they want to it?

I just hope that some day I find someone who will treasure and care for it the way that it deserves.

Happy birthday, David.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

All I have to say is that you are way nicer than I would be in your situation. I don't think I'd wish harm on him..but as far as the karma thing? All I'd say is "Well..I guess payback is a ***** isn't it?"

*hugs* and I guess your post meant that you got back home safely, which is good. Hope you had a happy new year!