Wednesday, July 11, 2007


I had a really life-like and powerful dream about David last night. I was with him, as if nothing had ever happened. Then, I zoomed in on his face and could see every little detail about him. It was exactly him. There were even the 5 white eyebrow and eyelash hairs that he has. Suddenly, he started turning into a marionette doll. I tried to kiss him to bring him back, and it almost worked... but then, he was a doll, completely.

I really expected to wake up and find an email or something from him. Is it bad that I was disappointed when there was nothing there? I don't know what is going on in my head.

It's almost as if I am finally coming to terms with the fact that he is gone out of my life forever. It's just so hard when you devote yourself to someone so completely for so many years. For them to always be in your thoughts. It's not a change that can happen overnight. And I wonder how he is sometimes, but I know I can't find out, because that will hurt too much.

Life is weird.

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