I am loved

I am so happy. Today I need only one happy thought. I received an email from Namioka-sensei, and today I finished translating the parts that I didn't understand. And now I do. I cried from happiness! She is such a wonderful friend to me. I miss my Jun-chan!!

I'll take a taxi to the moon, and leave this world far behind

1. I found the perfect red lipstick.
2. I drank 2 cups of coffee today. That's double what I normally drink. Needless to say, I was hyper and happy!
3. I got to talk to two of my favorite customers today. It's always a pleasure to talk to them. I didn't get to talk to all the favorites, though. I guess if I did, I would just end up chatting instead of working!
4. I ate a tofu spring roll with a peanut sauce to dip it in for lunch. It was delicious. I was thankful to my co-worker, Sara, for sharing.
5. I finished my book this evening. It helps that I was up until 11pm last night reading.
6. I took Ocha back to the vet today. His ear is healing well, but since he keeps scratching it, I have one of those little embarassing collars for him to wear. Poor Ocha. It is quite cute, though.
7. I ate Wheatabix for breakfast. They were delicious. For dinner, I made tuna cakes with veggies in the mix. Yum-o!

I'm a streetlight shining

1. Saturday was fun! In the morning, I went to a few antique shoppes nearby. I didn't find much, which is cool. But it was fun to walk around a few antique stores.
2. Got ready around 4ish, and went to Clarissa & Lenny's place 4:45ish. We ate hor d'oeuvres and drank some wine. Afterwards, we went to Clarissa's playhouse in El Cajon. We sat in the best seats in the house! Right in the middle, center. The show was so good! Called, The Senior Follies. It was basically a variety show-type where everyone in it was 55 and older! Very funny.
3. I realized that I am madly in love with Jimmy Stewart. If only we had been around in the same generation. I would have married him.
4. The finale was a gigantic tribute to America. I felt kinda bad, cuz I had to control my giggles. It's just so odd that America is the only country in the world who acts so... Patriotic. Is that the right word? Ridiculous?
4. After the show, we all went out to The Whistle Stop, the local bar near their house. We danced and drank and laughed a lot! I even danced in heels! Be impressed. Be very impressed!
5. Today, I slept till 10am!!! Double digits! Amazing! I woke up when Ocha jumped on my back. He was hungry and decided it was time for breakfast.
6. Lenny and I went to Costco today. I marveled at the sizes food can come in, in this country. It's insane! An 84 ounce jar of mayonnaise? Seriously!!
7. Lenny cooked a delicious dinner of tuna-stuffed peppers with provolone cheese on top. Yum! It was sooo yummy! I am glad that I am learning to like peppers, etc.

Violent Dreams, Every night, Turning empty pages of old magazines

1. Terra and I bought fruit for work on our 9am break. We bought bananas, apples, apricots, peaches, nectarines, grapes, and strawberries. I love that we keep a stocked fruit bowl at work. It's nice to eat healthy.
2. I finished reading Clan of the Cave Bear again. I always bawl at the end of that book. It's so well-written! And now I am 80 pages into Valley of the Horses. They just read so fast!
3. Took group pictures at work today, due to many of us wore green! Embarassed at the breast-head size ratio in this picture. I maybe was bright red for 30 minutes when Charina pointed it out.
4. Went with Terra to Victoria's Secret after work to check out the sale. Had an employee there measure me for a bra... She said 36D, and I was SO excited! But, alas. She was wrong. I'm no D cup, and doubt I ever will be. Hm.
5. I was going to go out dancing tonight... but I don't think I am up for leaving the house anymore. It's 10pm, and I was to snuggle in my pajamas and watch a movie. If only it were raining. I could do with a light thunderstorm tonight. Just because it would be so calming.
6. Tomorrow I am going to see the play that Clarissa is the designer for the costumes! I can't wait! We are going to all get really dressed up to go. Heel time! Remind me to touchup my toenail polish tomorrow.

Be my sugar bunny, honey

1. I ate leftover Chinese food for breakfast. It was orange chicken and it was delicious!
2. I spoke to one of my customers, Tommykins. He is really silly! I love that I can nickname people with serious names, like Thomas, with silly nicknames, and they accept it. I love nicknames!
3. I painted my nails fuschia.
4. My brother, Steve, called me randomly today! He called to tell me that he was in Nevada and was closeby (relatively). He is in Reno at a bowling tournament. I hope he wins!
5. It's a Jump, Little Children day! Yay! It's been a while. I'm liking it.

Back to the Daily Happies

1. Mom and Dad's visit was great! And minus a freak out this weekend, I had an amazing time. We did lots of touristy stuff and spend a lot of time with Jackie and the boys, too.
2. The Rents bought me a dining room table for my birthday! I now officially live here. I have a bed, a "sofa", AND a dining room table. California is official.
3. When I arrived at work today, I was greeted by big hugs from two of my co-workers! It's nice to be missed.
4. Tonight I am taking back my "Sigur Ros - Untitled Track 3" back.

No more

I will deal with the turmoil no more.


I never wanted to hate him. I never thought I would feel like this towards him.

Sometimes to be fair, one must be unfair

Well, this means life is moving on and needs to keep doing so. Kashiko left David a comment on Flickr that says "Love you."

You know, I don't think I will ever trust that he didn't cheat on me. Last I spoke to him, he held that he didn't do anything with her. But, there is no particle in my body that feels like he was faithful to me with her.

It's quite sad, really. I don't want it to fuck me up forever, but at the moment, I am upset with him. It's hard when someone goes from being your best friend, and most trusted person in the world...to this. I wish I hadn't have seen the comment. Ignorance is bliss and all. I should know better than to check the "Comments you've left" box. Of course she had to comment that on one I had previously commented on months ago.

I am hot all over. I just hate that he could have ever done such a shitty thing to me. I want to not believe it, but... I don't.

Shiny like a diamond in the sky

1. I wore a cute dress to work today. I had to sew a button on it, so I've been putting off wearing it. I fixed it last night and wore it to work today. Summer = dresse/skirts ONLY!
2. Mega-cleaned my apartment for my parents' visit tomorrow. This included steam-cleaning my carpet.
3. I called Emily to thank her for the lovely present! I have it up on my wall, and I love it!
4. The flowers in my apartment are still bright and beautiful. They make me smile every time I look at them. Some day, I will find a boy who sends me flowers. I don't know when, but whenever that happens, I will like it.

If I had a wall, you'd be driving me up to the ceiling

1. Today I had my review with my boss. It went well. Lots of positive things! I know I am good at my job, so I wasn't surprised. I don't want to seem haughty or anything, but I am good at dealing with people. It's my talent.
2. I told my manager about the disagreement between me and another boss. She was surprised. I told her exactly what I felt about the whole situation.
3. I am almost finished with the book that Michael is lending me. I am going to need another one soon! This one, Pattern Recognition, is very interesting! The writing style is quite different to what I'm accostumed to, but I am enjoying it. Also, I love when the endings are way different than you expect!
4. I had a talk with the Big Boss today at work. We talked about lead times for our products...He asked me how long it takes to process the folding doors in the office, which is AT LEAST 2 weeks...and from just that statement, he made my dreams come true, saying that we can tell people they officially take 10-12 weeks. Thank goodness! There are many of my headaches gone!
5. I read in the park for my entire lunch period today. It was sunny, with huge white clouds. Wonderful!
6. Mom and Dad are coming to visit this week!!! They come in Wednesday! I am sooooo excited!

I can see us in the country side, sitting in the grass laying side by side

1. Made a huge delicious breakfast today: cheesy hashbrowns, sunny-side up egg, whole wheat english muffin, and 2 slices of bacon! I don't think I've made myself such a big breakfast in aaaages.
2. I got to sleep in 2 days in a row this weekend! Due to going out and being out alll nite on Friday, I woke up Saturday at 8am...then went back to bed until almost 1pm!!!
3. Friday night, I got a call on my cell from Armon. FYI, he is in China and still found a moment to call me! What a great guy! I am going to try and save to visit him. He said we can see China, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos... so many places! I am ready!
4. Today I spent $14 on flowers at the Hillcrest Farmers Market. I've never spent so much on flowers for me before. It was a nice feeling. I probably shouldn't have done it (money-wise), but I don't care! I love having flowers in my apartment! Cheers it right up! I got 2 huge bunches of Gerbera flowers (orange and yellow) and a big bunch of pink & yellow dahlias. Pictures to come.
5. Today, I am going to clean, because my parents are coming in to town on Wednesday! I am soo excited!

AND BIG NEWS OF THE WEEK:
I bought a bed!!! It was delivered to me on Friday, and I am mega amounts of excited! I went to Marshall's and bought some 600 thread count sheets. Booyah! No more futon sleeping for me.

You'd said you'd follow through

1. I got my three new shirts from Threadless yesterday.
2. Went out dancing to a gay bar called "Flame" last night with Shantel and krew. Lots of dancing with cute boys! Too bad they were all gay! Ahh well ^_~
3. The BBQ was really fun last weekend. I helped make delicious tamales (about 6million of them!), ran around a park chatting and eating and taking pictures, received a special coloring book and jumbo crayons, went swimming in the middle of the night... FUN!
4. Sunday, I spent all day hanging out with Michael in LA. We ate cinnamon raisen bagels and drank coffee and watched some Planet Earth. Then we walked around Hollywood for a while. Went to a crazy huge costume shop! Then, we ate at a really cute (Bluebird-esque) diner near his house.
5. Had crazy hat day at work yesterday!

uhm... That's all for now.

Why should you want any other, when you're a world within a world??

Today I am in a contemplative mood. I have been a lot recently.

My life has been going in a new direction. That direction is called "Living life for me."

I had an epiphany yesterday while leaving Target. I was walking out of the store, carrying 3 huge pillows and a bad full of nailpolish and household cleaner. And, crossing the parking lot, I realized that I am happy now. I can finally be free to be me, put me first, love me first.

It's a good feeling, to remember yourself after so long of putting others first.

What a great weekend!

1. Out with friend on Sat night. BBQ'd at Sarah's house. Chatted, played pool, hung out, ate delicious food. A great evening!
2. Sunday, went to a BBQ at my sister's house. She and Dale tried to set me up with an Australian boy. Unsuccessful. Thank goodness!
3. Ate the BEST guacamole in the universe at Jackie's BBQ.
4. Woke up at 6:30am today and drove to LA to meet up with Michael. Went to Little Tokyo: ate Japanese food, did purikura, went to Kinokuya, played the taiko game. Watched Spaced and Happy Feet. It was a great Memorial Day!
5. No traffic on the way TO or FROM Los Angeles. Woah!!!

A voicemail from my sister

"Hi Ab, it's Jac. You are coming to the BBQ, right? Dale invited one of his friends' friends to come, so you wont be the only single one there! He's cute and from Australia! So he has a great accent! Not that we are trying to play matchmaker...but we are."

Oh Jackie. Goodness gracious!
I hope it's not weird. If it is, then I will play with Blake (Alicia and John's lil 2yr old!) ^_^

And anyway, Brendan and I are going to shoot paintballs today. Excellent.

Something different

Today, I am going to:
1. Straighten my hair
2. Go to a farmers market to buy lots of yummy veggies
3. Make a vegan pasta salad for the party this evening
4. Write a letter
5. Get prettied up for the shindig
6. Escape myself by having a blast with my friends


What are you going to do?

I'm sure I heard you sigh

1. Snacking on the best spinach dip and crackers at lunch.
2. Tomorrow: Pool Party!!
3. I cleaned my bathroom today after work. Like, seriously scrubbed it. It's so sparkly now!
4. Hummus in the morning! Hummus in the evening! Hummus at suppertime!
5. I have Monday off of work. Thank god! Finally, a day off. I don't get a PAID day off... but oh well. Take what you can get, right?
6. I had a customer ask fo rmy phone number today. It was random. Of course, I didn't give it to him! But, I was thankful that he's not a creepy old dude! What a random day.

The bubble's in trouble!

1. We had a picture taking contest at work today. And got in trouble with management for it. "No giggling! Get back to work!"
2. I am very close to a decision on how to handle it all.
3. I sent 4 postcards, 2 letters, and 2 packages today. I love sending mail. It's such a nice thing for the recipient.
4. I went to the gym today, finally. 3 weeks off. It's hard to go to the gym when things in life aren't on an even measure. They aren't completely yet, but I just need to wait it out till they are.
5. This weekend I watched a ton of movies with my nephews: Braveheart, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Eragon, Happy Feet, and Encino Man.
6. I swam a lot on Saturday afternoon, and it was great!
7. Friday-Sunday, I finished off an entire medium-sized Papa John's pizza! Cheese and Pineapple! YUM!

You learn to walk at a comfortable slumber

1. Being distracted.
2. Still being distracted.
3. Making mix tapes.
4. Eating a proper dinner – BBQ chicken, baked beans, baked potato.
5. Awaiting a new, sexy bathing suit.

I cried at work today

My life has felt like a mess lately. Everything seems in ruins or misplaced. It's not fun.

This morning at work, I had two co-workers confront me about a rumor they'd heard (that I thought they didnt like me). I dunno about that rumor... but it caught me off guard. And I was in a fragile mood anyway, so I burst into tears and had to answer a couple phone calls crying.

I am ready for equilibrium. And I know I'm not going to get that for a while. It's so tough.


So, tonight I am going over to Terra's house. We are going to rent a movie and eat cookie dough. Duh! The normal way girls heal.