Saturday, April 29, 2006

You can’t hear it, but I do.

  1. A little over a week ago, one of my best friends had a death in the family. The person who passed away was basically her father for most of her life. When I got the email telling me about it, I immediately began writing to her. But, as anyone who knows me well, knows that I am very bad with words. I am especially bad when something terrible like this happens. So, I’ve basically been writing this email for over a week, changing it every day. I wanted to say something comforting and helpful to her, but I found that I just didn’t know what to say. It’s been worrying me. I knew that I needed to send it out sooner rather than later, but I just couldn’t because I didn’t feel like what I had was big and helpful and good enough. But then, last night I had a dream about her. I met her in my dream at the funeral, and I couldn’t speak to her. In my dream, she told me that she understands, but that she needs to hear something from me and soon. When I woke up today, I immediately looked at what I had written down, changed it a little bit, and sent it away. It’s nothing huge or spectacular… but it says the important things. I love her, I am here for her (even so far away), and that I’ve been thinking of her.
  2. Today, I have mostly stayed at home. I was going to spend my time cleaning, but I’m really just not up for it right now. Instead, I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things to bake with. I am making pumpkin bread and peanut butter cups for tomorrow. I hope they will turn out to be culinary delights for me and my friends.
  3. Tomorrow, I am going out with Yoko, Richard, David T, and David T’s friend. First, we are going to visit Yoko’s “mysterious and beautiful” spot. Then, we will go see V is for Vendetta. Perhaps after that, some shopping will happen, but with so many boys in the crew, I’m not so sure on that. :o) After the way I’ve been feeling lately, I think this fun day out will be very good for me.
  4. I just tried a piece of my pumpkin bread. It’s delicious! Yay!!

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